What Next

Hmm, not sure I should be blogging about this, but it's worth taking note of.

I have just about run out of faith in my employer. So much so that I have spruced up my CV and am beginning to look around.

We have moved so many times in the last 6 years it's not funny. We tend to rate this in terms of where we've moved around in Lala's lifetime. Let's count them:

2012 - Seni Mont Kiara, Malaysia, which is where we lived when Lala was born.
2012 - December, we moved to Texas, Queensland, which was a professional disaster frankly.
2013 - August, we moved back to Malaysia, this time to Mutiara in Ampang. Bdoi was born when we lived here.
2014 - September, we moved to Damansara Heights, also in Malaysia. Babi was born when we lived here.
2016 - June, we moved to Barooga, as ASN had fallen apart. Started working in the store.
2018 - March, we moved to Kupang, with this mob.
2018 - October, we moved houses in Kupang, just across the road really.

So, in Lala's lifetime, we have lived in 7 different places, 8 if you include the 3 months at Mum's when we first moved back to Barooga.

Poor girl, she has moved school numerous times too. But she really takes it all in her stride, and seems to always look on the positive side, as in she gets to make some new friends.

Anyway, back to the main topic. I think my boss has lost the fucking plot. He just lives in this dreamworld of capital raising. The problem is, none of that capital ever seems to hit the bank account. I would NEVER have joined this company if I didn't think it was fully funded. I was fucking lied to. The throes of a deal for funding were in place, but not the deal itself. And frankly, that deal was a pretty shit one. Yes this is a world-class project, it's a frigging beauty frankly. But it is not easy, and to be honest I am amazed at what we have been able to achieve with virtually no money.

But this can only go on for so long. The boss is never, ever here. And as I said, I am losing faith. All I want is long-term tenure somewhere. Somewhere we can put down roots, and settle for at least a few years. I just don't know that this is the place. It could be, it really has potential. Kupang has its challenges, believe me. The place drives me and my wife nuts sometimes. But overall it's pretty nice to live here, and we're a lot closer to the rest of Asia.

But when you've lost faith. Well, you've lost faith. Anyway, we'll see what happens. Hopefully it'll come good before it's too late.

Top 40 Songs of All Time #4

Ok, so this has been some time coming.

I don't understand. WTF. I love music. Music is life. When I listen to music, I feel better, happier. So why don't I do it on a daily basis? Hey tomorrow I should take my iPod out to my work car and tell David my driver this is now our entertainment of choice.

I think my iPod might be a bit fucked up frankly. It ain't working like it used to. It's not that old really, maybe five years or so. But the technology has moved on so much since then. As long as I can rescue my music collection, I don't really care where it is hosted.

Ok ok ok . So my mind wanders. You get that. And gin helps. Frankly, I forget the format of these posts, but I do remember only posting the Rank 5 songs. So following is the list. I did 20 this time from my collection. And following that are the music videos. We move on!

Actually fuck it. I can't be bothered writing the names of all the songs that won't make the final 40. Anyone who wants to know my musical interests to that degree of intimacy is going to just have to get to know me better haha! Here we go.

Friday I'm In Love - The Cure

Space Oddity - David Bowie

Never Miss Your Water - Diesel

The Boys Of Summer - Don Henley

Little Green Bag - The George Baker Selection

Castaway - Green Day

Lean On Me - Club Nouveau

Spybreak - Propellerheads

The Top 40 marches on. Some absolutely classic tunes there. Plus a couple of ring-ins. The Matrix soundtrack was a big part of my life in the late 90's / early 2000's. I still love it. I may get around to doing a Top 10 Movies Of All Time at some point. Rest assured, the original Matrix will feature. Guaranteed.

Exploring Oneself

It just occurred to me that I have been posting a lot recently about music, writing, spirituality, and the like. I'm supposed to be rough and tumble hard-core mining engineer!

Haha. The reality is that I've never been that. Frankly I think the mythos that went with being a so-called hard-core mining engineer disappeared back in the 90's, although some of the old school still hang onto it. My old boss Bruce being one.

Me though, well I'm a complicated human being. And lately I have been a compromised one. Compromised by my inability to control my emotions. Is that due to giving up smoking? I wouldn't have thought so. One, because I vape a bit here and there instead. And two, well I gave up because I well and truly wanted to, and was ready to. So I am not stressed because of that reason. Not outwardly anyway. Perhaps inside my little brain things are not so content with my decision, who knows.

No, I say compromised because I have been an angsty stress-head of late, and taking it out on those I love the most. Yeah being a parent to three young kids has its issues, and yes they do test you, time and time again. But recently, most poignantly on our recent trip to KL, it has been harder for me to deal with it. I have always been on the tough side with the kids, and quickly use a stern tone of voice if they start playing up. But on that trip it was more than that. It was angry, uncontrolled, and frankly, almost hateful. At least when I think back on it. Not the whole day mind you. It was just I didn't deal with the stress of the day very well at all. Hey we've done this before, many times actually. It's never easy, and sometimes an angry word or two is needed, but I was just a prick the other day.

My biggest critic, as I'm sure it is for most people, is myself. It always has been. I know my wife understands me and my foibles. But for my kids? I don't want them to associate me with anger. I want them to associate me with love. Discipline, yes. Respect, yes. But not anger. I spoke to all three of them before we parted ways that evening. I think it was all good. But I know in the moment, all three of them were not happy with my angry approach.

Nobody is perfect, and I don't ever plan to be. But I can do better. I need to do better. I need to follow my own advice, and think before I act or speak. Haha, it's so much easier to give advice than follow it. What's the old saying? "Do as I say, not as I do". Wow, didn't think that would apply to me, ever.

But it does. I need to act more so that doing as I do will be a sufficient example to follow. I love them all so much, so that's not the problem. Maybe I need to love myself more. I do definitely need to slow down a little, learn to live in the moment, learn to accept what is, and choose to be happy.

My advice is awesome. You should follow it!

So should I.

Western Culture Is Destroying Itself

PC Gone Mad - check this out.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. The phrase "bring home the bacon" is now deemed offensive to vegans and women. Vegans because of obvious reasons and women apparently because meat is associated with men.

Seriously?

Fuck off.

I am SO SICK of the way the western world is going with the bullshit political correctness. I am SO SICK of the fucking fringe groups ruling the entire world because they get offended at fucking anything. You don't like meat? Don't eat it then you dumb fuckwit. But don't you fucking dare tell me how to live my life or how to speak. If I want to say I bring home the bacon, I fucking well will. And fuck anyone who says otherwise.

Ok, so the fact that my expletive-ridden rant kind of makes me look like a moron doesn't help my cause. But it's because I'm so fucking angry about PC these days. Some fucker says they identify as a horse, and oh, let's put horse as a gender option on surveys now. Hmm, actually I identify as a crispy piece of bacon. Male, anti-religion, anti-people who don't like smacking kids, anti vegans, anti-feminists, anti all the fucking anti people in the world bacon that is. That's my gender. If you don't like it, fuck you. I want that put as a gender option on the next census please.

I read an article recently where an Australian show was slammed because they suggested that the feminist and me-too movement had gone so far that it was now virtually anti-male. They got slammed because yes there are major issues with abuse of women, but somehow that means it's ok for anyone to say whatever the fuck they want against men. What about those of us who don't abuse? Luckily for me my wife has a brain. I feel sorry for those men who have to deal with people who may not say it, but certainly act in such a way like "it's my time to rule now motherfuckers, run scared you arsehole men!". Look sideways at the wrong woman and you'll get #metoo slammed into you, blunt end first. Yes our society has issues, but demonising men is not the way to fix them. Nor is glorifying those stupid fucking feminists. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for equality, but not if that means that it's now women's time to rule. It's like what's happening in South Africa - it's virtually government policy to be racist against whites. Why? Because we're righting the wrongs of the past, that's why. So therefore it's legit. Really?

Seriously, is this the way this fucked up shit world is going? My wife just wrote an interesting blog post on nationalism (in a very different context) but it rang very true for me. Australia is not the place I thought it was. We are now ruled by minority groups. I fucking hate minority groups. Hey, you can be say and do whatever the fuck you want as long as you don't hurt anyone else. But if you represent 0.1% of the population, don't fucking think you get a say in how the damn country is run. But alas because of our shithouse political system where the two major parties will never agree on a damn thing, the minority groups get the balance of power time and time again, and yes, they end up running the damn fucking country. And so, we can't have Christmas carols anymore, because it offends some people. We can't honour our war dead the way we want to, because it offends some people. Seriously, if I was in the street in Australia and heard someone say that ANZAC Day is offensive to them because of their heritage, I would have to be physically restrained.

You know what? I am a proud Australian, but I think I'll go retire in Malaysia. Malaysia is a muslim country. So you can't criticise the religion or many other things. But you can be a minority there, as long as you keep your opinions to yourself and don't upset the majority. The law is written for that. And you know what? It fucking works. Maybe not 100%, but by God, so much better than how it's currently working in the fucking west. Western culture is destroying itself. Malaysia has it right - be tolerant of other beliefs, but protect the majority and protect how you identify with your culture. Don't do that, and sooner or later the only culture you have will be to be anti-everything.

Project Triglyceride - Update

Well, I kind of knew it was going to happen this way.

After several (many) failed attempts, I have given up smoking.

I always knew the attempts wouldn't work, because in my heart I knew I wasn't ready. This time it is different. As was the case on the two previous times I have given up in my life (once for 2 years and once for 4 years), when I decided it was time, it was a piece of cake.

I got a lung infection, and unlike previous illnesses, where I would smoke my way through them, this time I wasn't interested in the fags, and after a couple of days I said to myself "this is it". And I have not looked back, for three weeks now.

Fuck smoking.

I do have a vape, which is kind of nice to have in social situations, but really I don't need it either.

I'm looking forward to improving my health. And going back to Project T, this was one of the key components of getting my cholesterol in check. Plus it will give me more energy and help me to be more active. Yep, I am happy about this!

I am now a non-smoker.

Hahaha!

Such Is Life

Wow. I guess I knew it was coming. It has been for a while, but in the end it happened so swiftly it still took us all by surprise somewhat.

My eldest brother Michael, has passed away. He was 61, and had been battling lung cancer for the best part of two years. What killed him though, was an infection that they couldn't treat, due to his ongoing chemotherapy.

I was fortunate to have been able to see him regularly for two years recently - from mid 2016 to 2018, while we were between mining jobs, and living in Barooga. I think I spent more time with him in that period than in the rest of my life combined, so it was a big part of our relationship as brothers.

Mick was one of the few people I have ever known to totally reinvent themselves. Well perhaps not totally - he never lost who he always was and where he had come from. He just toned it down, and replaced the f*ck it attitude with a lets do it attitude. After many years as a bikie, and living on the fringes of society, Mick met his long-term partner Robyn, settled down, and had a life. He started his own cleaning business, and had an awesome work ethic, as well as a great deal of pride in his work. It was impressive and wonderful to see. His father would have been so happy to see it, as were the rest of us.

Compared to me, he actually did it damn tough. We all grow and adapt, but as I said, Mick had to reinvent himself. Kudos to you my brother, not many could do what you did.

When I was home last week we had his wake. Mick didn't want a funeral, he just wanted those who were part of his life to gather, have a drink and share some memories. So we did just that. I was a little hesitant to speak initially, but I'm glad I did. It was important that everyone knew just how proud his family were of what Mick did with his life. I also told the funny story of him in Footscray, jumping off his balcony in his undies with an axe-handle to go and tell a gang of youths to bugger off. That was when I first got to know him as an adult - when I was at uni and he was living in Melbourne. We saw each other a few times then, had yum cha, had a few drinks, good memories. Alas when I left for the west I didn't see him again for years. But these last two years we made up for it. Mick came in the shop almost daily, and we had him over often. He even agreed to be godfather for our boy Daniel.

Rest in peace my brother.

Resto Emerald Park

Or Chez Brown, whatever you want to call it!

Yep, each and every morning, my wife and I open our home restaurant to our three hungry and often temperamental patrons. Why do I call it that? Well, we like to give them choices. So they wander downstairs, or in the case of babi get carried, and sit in their usual seats at the table. The ipads - all fully charged - are there waiting for them. We do limit screen time, but in the mornings it's a nice little diversion for them while they eat their breakfast.

With babi, he usually likes some milk or juice in a bottle. Cups during the rest of the day, but a bottle is safer in the morning as it takes him a while to wake up properly and not spill everything. Then he'll often ask for a chocolate sammich, which is just bread and Nutella or some breakfast bickies. The little bugger doesn't eat the crusts either. So for a while we started chopping them off, but found he still left the outer part behind, as if a crust was still there. So less bread was wasted if we just left the crusts behind to begin with.

With Bdoi, well he usually prefers a juice or a Milo box if we've got them. For him it's almost always breakfast bickies as first option. Interestingly, we used to buy the actual "breakfast biscuits", which claimed to be nutritious etc, but found that compared to the very simple local biscuits, they had far more sugar. So we switched, and everyone seems to like these better anyway. Bdoi often wakes like a bear with a sore head, but with some loving he can frequently be calmed down. I think babi wakes him up most days which doesn't go down well. This morning he was lying in bed with a scowl, so I sat with him and talked about some interesting things, and within a minute or two he was ok.

Lala is the odd one out. Her tastes go from yoghurt to egg soup (half cooked eggs in a bowl with soy and white pepper, yum!), scrambled eggs, strawberry sammich, you name it. She is almost always in good spirits in the morning, bless her.

The reason the whole restaurant theme comes into it is that none of them are ever satisfied with just one course. My wife and I pretty much spend an hour flitting around in the kitchen, chopping fruit, making more sandwiches, cooking eggs, making noodles, you name it. And we serve them all at the table. Sometimes it can be a drag, but I actually enjoy it. It's great to see them all eating a hearty and healthy breakfast, in preparation for their day ahead.

Oh and there's always babi's catch-cry echoing throughout the house at this time of day (frankly all day half the time) - "I want something else!"

The Other Side

So over the last few months, my wife has been exploring her spiritual side, in an effort to grow and find out more about just who we are and why we're here. It has been an interesting journey for her.

For me, whilst I acknowledge that almost certainly, we have a soul and there is something beyond this physical realm, I have no idea what that is, and frankly, it's not my focus at this point. I am more interested in where we have come from than where we are going. That may sound odd, but the undiscovered past of human history has always fascinated me. History tells us that ~10,000BC was when human civilisation began, but given homo sapiens have been around for about 250,000 years, I always found it hard to believe. And when you start digging, the truth is certainly far more interesting than the history books.

Anyway, that's a topic for another day or two. We're talking spirituality here. And what I believe. As I said I don't know much, but I have had a handful of experiences in my life that have made me go WTF! There may have been others, but these are the few that have stuck in my mind.

The first one occurred back in the early 2000's, probably 2000 or 2001, when I was working in Leonora in Western Australia. As is the case now, back then I was struggling with being overweight, so in an effort to boost fitness, my friend Luke and I would go for walks in the evening. The outback in WA is amazing, particularly when you get out of the town lights. The skies seem to go on forever and the sheer quantity of stars is simply mind-blowing. So for something different, one evening after dark, we decided to walk down the 5km road from the edge of town to the airport. It was a straight road and had no streetlights, as the airport only operated during daylight hours.

We were about 1km or so down the road. It was pitch darkness and so incredibly quiet. We were chatting to each other about various things, when suddenly we both stopped talking. There was no sound, no movement, nothing. Nothing that is, except a feeling. We kept walking for another 20m or so, but the feeling just grew and grew. It's almost impossible to describe, but it was almost like a physical barrier in front of us. A psychological barrier anyway. The air became so heavy and the feeling of sheer dread I had was horrifying. It happened so quickly! I knew it wasn't just me, because Luke and I turned to look at each other at the same time, and from the look on his face I knew he was feeling it too. That shared look shattered the silence and we both turned and ran, as fast as we could, until we got back to the first streetlight at the edge of town.

I know sometimes after experiencing something that doesn't seem quite real, it can be easy to shake it off and put it down to imagination. But we were both quite shaken after this experience. It was like we encountered a place where something did not want us to be. Later walks were restricted to doing laps of the town instead!

But I was curious. I was living in Leonora at the time, and having weekends off there. So the following weekend (Luke was FIFO so at the office) I repeated the walk by myself. I was reasonably sure of how far we got, so paced my way down the airport road to the same spot, wondering if anything would be present during the day. It wasn't. I walked up and down a few hundred meters from that spot, but felt nothing. So I went off to the roadside and looked into the surrounding scrub. About 20m off the left-hand side of the road, right in the spot where we encountered the barrier, I could see something. So I stepped into the brush and ventured across to it. I was amazed with what I found. There, off to the side of the road and not visible from the road itself, was a tiny, unmarked cemetery. There were about 6 headstones, and may have been more in the past. These kind of pioneer cemeteries are common in the outback, but when they are known, they are usually fenced off to preserve them. So I can only think that this one was unknown. Most of the headstones were very worn, but on one of them I could make out a date of passing in the 1870's, from a mining accident. There were numerous 1800's mines in the area, and on those days, it was very risky business, with many people losing their lives chasing gold. I know people usually say that graveyards are not the places that spirits frequent, but who knows, maybe the cemetery was sited there because it was where these people died. And perhaps one of them still lingers, still staking and defending his claim...

The next encounter I had was a lot more benign, although the circumstances were anything but. After a year long battle with a very nasty cancer, my father died. I took virtually the whole year off work to be there and support my mother. Luckily I had a very understanding and supportive boss. Dick Yates was his name. I haven't seen him in years, and frankly he wasn't the boss I connected with the most. But he believed in me, and gave me the space I needed. Thank-you Dick.

Anyway, the end was particularly tragic and traumatic. I will discuss it here briefly, because it does have spiritual connotations as well. When your body is ravaged by cancer and starts to shut down, it's like a fucking horror movie. The only thing about it that is even slightly merciful is that my dad was virtually in a coma for the last 48 hours of his life. The night before he died was the worst experience I have ever had. He was coughing up blood frequently and we were all there to help sit him up to do so. We were all awake all night long. It was simply awful. My poor, poor dad. He wasn't perfect, but he was the man of greatest integrity that I have ever met, and he loved his family. He particularly had undying love for his wife, my mother. So much so, that even when in a coma, even when on the verge of death, when my mum broke down, he responded. He was lying there, coughing up blood, unable to move. But when my mum started crying you could see him muster every available bit of energy and will he had remaining in an attempt to move to comfort her. It was so tragic and heartbreaking, yet so beautiful at the same time. Eventually, in the early hours of the morning, the nurse came. She made a call to a doctor, then administered some more morphine. She informed us that my dad had only an hour or two left.

So my mum sat with him and called us four kids into the room one by one. She told us what we each meant to our father, and asked us to hold his hand, tell him how we felt, and encourage him to move on and let go. We all did so. He had suffered enough. I didn't want to lose him, but it was time. I won't go into the detail of what I said to him, but I was so glad that he had got to see me grow up and become an engineer. I know he was proud of what I achieved. My only regret is that when I was a young, dumb 20 something I didn't put more importance in my family. I was out there in the wild west living life to the full. You only live once and you only get one set of parents. Make the most of the relationships you have.

Ok, so the other thing that had happened those last few days was that my brother and I had built a pergola in the backyard, to provide some shade and give mum somewhere to hang the washing. Unlike my dad we were not hugely skilled with our hands and certainly didn't have the eye for detail that he did. So we banged and crashed and swore our way through the job, but we did it. It actually looked pretty good too, as long as you didn't look too close! Before Dad fell into his coma, he was asking about the noise and Mum told him what we were doing. He wanted to come see, but simply couldn't get out of bed anymore. So when I was there with him at the end, I said to him, Dad, on your way out, go have a look at the pergola we built for you.

It was my niece that found him passed away. We had only left the room a moment before, and she went in to pay her respects. Seconds later she came back out and said she didn't think he was breathing. Mum and I rushed in and realised that he had waited until he was alone before calling it quits. Rest in Peace dear Dad.

People were already arriving at the time, but I wanted to be alone. So I went out the back by myself. As soon as I sat down I realised something. I was not alone. I could feel very strongly a presence with me. I couldn't see nor hear anything, it was just a feeling. I had not gone out there looking for it, was not even thinking about what I had said to Dad, but it was there nonetheless. Permeating, warming, encompassing. After a few moments I realised that I had asked Dad to come have a look at the pergola on his way out. So I started to show it to him. I pointed out what we had done, even asking him to not look too closely at the poor workmanship. At one point I was even laughing with him, because it really was a circus with my brother and I there. I probably spent five minutes going through it with him.

At that point I had to tell my mum. So I ran inside and asked her to come out. But as soon as we walked through the door I realised the feeling had gone. Dad had come to see, but he had places to be, and it had been time for him to move on. I am not sure if anyone else believed me, but I know Mum did. Because she has felt him on many occasions, and they still meet in her dreams even now. So does what happened qualify as a supernatural experience? I guess it does. And I don't doubt what happened. I will never forget that feeling. It was as strong as the feeling on the road to the airport at Leonora, but instead of foreboding it was welcoming. It was my dad.

The last experience has actually happened to me three times, but it's the second one I am going to talk about. For my whole life I have been subtly afraid of the dark, of the supernatural, of forces unseen. That is, until I became a dad myself. There is nothing I would not do to protect my family, and especially my children. There was a time when I was working away in Indonesia, on a six week stint that my little girl (1-2yo at the time) started seeing what she called bubbles. They did not scare her, she welcomed them. My wife could not see them, yet when she took photos of the places where my daughter was pointing, the bubbles could be seen, or perhaps orbs, I don't know. My wife took several photos and the one below shows a bubble pretty clearly.

Whatever it was, it was clearly not malevolent. We even consulted with my friend Darcel, who is a white witch and very well versed on the other side. She even has her own website now, check it out.

www.hypnoenergetics5d.com.au

Darcel didn't seem to think it was anything to worry about, probably just a family member who had passed on coming to visit. What was interesting is that it wasn't until years later (recently in fact) that my wife came up with the idea that the bubble was actually me. I was lonely and sad and stressed to be away from my family, especially with a new-born in the equation. And with the consideration of quantum physics, that you can be in two places at once, who knows, maybe it's possible. Because when I came home, and I have never been away for such a period since, the bubbles vanished, never to return.

That is a big diversion from my third experience, but I mentioned it, because I think it is a valid point to consider regarding my third experience. When we were living in Damansara Heights in KL, in a wonderful big house, something scared the kids, and I felt it too. There was a presence. I had also felt a presence in a couple of other places. The night in question at Damansara, the kids were scared of downstairs, our basement playroom. They were telling me about it at bedtime - well Lala was, the only one who could speak properly at that point. I could feel something too. So I did something that before kids I would never even consider doing. I walked from upstairs down the two flights to the basement, completely in the dark. Once there, I quietly, but firmly told whatever it was that they were scaring my children, that this was our house, not theirs, and politely, but firmly asked them to leave and not return.

And you know what? It worked. The presence was not felt again, and the kids did not complain about being scared anymore.

It didn't occur to me the first time, nor that time, being the second. It was the third and most recent time that I had to do that, in our house here in Kupang, that something interesting occurred to me. I am powerful. I can tell the other side what to do. Within reason of course. The reason for that power? Well, I think it is the most powerful force in the universe, which is why it is now present in me more than ever. It is love. Whatever it was that visited us, I could almost physically feel the power in my words and feelings in telling it to leave. I always do so politely, but always very firmly too. I know it probably sounds like nonsense, but these were all very real experiences to me.

So that's it really. There is not a lot more to tell. I do believe in ghosts, spirits or whatever you want to call them. Not so sure about the hauntings that you read about or see in movies and videos, but who knows? There is definitely something out there. Mostly benign, but perhaps not always. We must be vigilant, be strong and believe in ourselves. Mostly though, we must love.

Hot & Bothered

That's how I have been the last few days.

The atmosphere doesn't help. I mean the physical atmosphere. The locals told me it just gets hotter and hotter here until the wet season arrives. So the air is getting heavier and heavier and even in the previously cool mornings now, I'm drenched in sweat at the drop of a hat. I have always struggled a bit with that. Being hot and bothered makes my fuse a bit short.

The atmosphere doesn't help. I mean the work atmosphere. We have no idea what's going on at the moment other than we are running out of money. I was told when I joined this fucking company that we were fully funded. Pig's fucking arse we were. Sure there were deals in place, but the cunt who is holding all the aces likes nothing more than playing games and dragging everything out. I suspect it's some sort of sneaky takeover bid. I am told things are happening and maybe even today it's going to sort itself out. But the fact of the matter is this project has been mismanaged for years - we're more than halfway through construction and yet don't have final drawings. How the fuck does this happen to a public company? Who are the fucking retards in charge who have allowed this to happen? And how the absolute fuck am I in this position again where my fucking job is hanging by a thread. Texas, ASN, and now this. Fuck my brown dog, am I just the stupidest fuck in the whole world picking all these fucking losers and listening to all their bullshit stories, or am I just plain unlucky?

Footnote: I tried to put "Hell on Earth" as the location tag for my post, but Blogger couldn't find that. However, apparently the closest thing to it is 135 Greeves St, Fitzroy in Melbourne. Those poor bastards. I thought Fitzroy was a decent place these days? Who would have thought. Vindictive fucking Blogger. Back to my rant.

The atmosphere doesn't help. That's the atmosphere in my head. Sure the kids must be affected by both the draining and oppressive heat, and sure they must be affected by my stress, but it's still not easy to deal with screaming insubordination and people saying "no" to every damn thing. I have to be a strong parent, and sometimes that means yelling. Sometimes it means brandishing the wooden spoon. My little girl is the coolest head among us all though. I need to learn from her. Sure she borrowed my dictionary last night and drew frigging sketches in it, which caused me to snarl at her. But overall she's the best, most loving and protective one of us all. My wife is the voice of reason and logic. She gets mad too, but nobody gets volcanic mad like me. Like my father before me, it only lasts a minute and I'm over it, but I know I'm one big scary fucker when I get mad, especially to a little kid. I guess they are all stubborn like my wife and I, and they are not robots. They're wonderful, lovely, loving and independent children. I just need to do better in terms of reasoning with them and disciplining them.

Fuck, ok I have cooled down a bit now. I know I'm only human, and not the best example of the species at that. But I can do better. I must do better. I feel nothing but love for my family, and I need to be the rock of stability, not the rock sitting under an erupting volcano. I hope things will improve. I hope the rain comes soon. I hope we get this damn project financed soon. I hope I can take a deep breath and put myself in other people's shoes and be a better parent soon. I have to. I will.

Top 40 Songs Of All Time - Update

Yikes.

So I decided to do another music post and thought I'd review the 20 songs that I have gone through so far. No problems with the "would never skip it" rating, nor the "good" or "don't know why I have it" ratings. It's the "Love it" rating that is the issue.

See when I decided to do this, I figured I would only go to the top ratings, as they would be numerous enough to fill a top 200 let alone a top 40. However looking at the next rating down today, there are a few songs in there that I absolutely love! What to do, what to do. It's really quite a conundrum.

Plus, I am going to, within the next 2-3 posts, have 40 5 Star songs already. So from the perspective of expedience, I think I will just look at new ones beyond that point from the perspective of whether or not they would displace one of those already in there. I think that's going to help me get there quicker. Anyway, just a thought. Mainly blogging about it so I don't forget!

Top 40 Songs Of All Time #3

Fark. I say again. Fark.

Ok, so I have been inspired to do the next iteration tonight. I haven't left this alone due to lack of interest, quite the contrary. But hey, one only has so many moments available to do things, and if I am going to make this definitive list, I am going to do it properly. Anyway, enough of my excuses, here comes the next iteration. As I said before, I'm only posting videos of my 5 Star rated songs, and will simply list the rest. But today I took a quick look through my list rather than hitting the random button, so most of them are fucking awesome...

1) Take A Long Line - The Angels 1987

2) I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyes Peas 2009

3) Echo Beach - Martha & The Muffins 1979

4) What's Up - 4 Non Blondes 1992

5) Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden 1997

6) Invaders Must Die - The Prodigy 2009

7) Oh What A Night - The Four Seasons 1975

Those that didn't make the 5 star cut; Ironic by Alanis Morissette, Jive Talkin' by Bee Gees, Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz, Hurts So Good by John Mellancamp, Stuck On You by Paul Norton.

Far out there are some classic songs in there. And some wonderful songs that didn't quite make it. This kind of thing is really subjective, and it vastly depends on your mood I reckon. Still, one's got to make a choice sooner or later. So, the top songs as they stand now, and not in any particular order are:

So I don't know where this is going to go from here. Some big guns are coming. Green Day, Phil Collins, Billy Joel, to name a few. It's going to get messy. But I'm loving it!

6 Months In

Sitting in the office waiting for the boss to come back for a meeting, and I've actually done everything I needed to today. It occurred to me recently that this month marks 6 months for us here in Kupang, so it's worth reflecting on that for a bit.

6 months in Kupang. 6 months with Gulf. It's been quite a ride so far, and in general, a good one. Work has been both rewarding and frustrating, much like life here in general. The company really had no idea about mining before I got here. Yes they had sought out some potential sites and partners, and signed MOU's with them. But it really seems like the MOU was somehow supposed to magically transform into ore on a stockpile somewhere. The reality is nothing like that. There has been no mining here for so long, and so many false starts from other smelting companies, that nobody wants to do it themselves, not without a lot of help anyway. Luckily we have progressed that, and have a few ready to start, with a lot more to follow hopefully. Plus we're starting our own mine next month - assuming I get the funds I need. I have been promised them. So the next few months is going to be interesting and challenging, but I am looking forward to it.

On the home front things have been pretty good too. My baby and I are getting along really well. She has new-found interest in discovering herself and the mysteries of life, and the journey is both rewarding for her and strengthening her. The kids are doing well too, although they do tend to get bored from time to time. They love toys so much but seem to struggle to play with them for any longer than 5 minutes sometimes. On days off when we want to have a quiet day that can be challenging. But it's not really a big deal. Soon we're off on a family holiday for a week, which is going to be wonderful. A chance to relax and enjoy, on a scale that we have not managed since we went to Penang last, way back in 2015 I think. We've had a couple of short breaks here and there in the interim, but not what you'd call a real holiday. Plus now that we're more stable financially (at least without the constant woes) it's easier to enjoy when you don't have to count every penny three times.

So all in all, after 6 months I'm happy. Work is hard and it does cause me angst from time to time, but I am enjoying it, and I think I am really contributing well to developing mining both in this company and NTT as a whole. Family time is always wonderful, even when kids rebel, fight and moan. I feel lucky, I feel blessed and I feel comfortable. Content is a goal, and I think it can be achieved here, but that one will take a little longer. But we're getting there. Kupang is a pretty cool place for a live-in mining job. Compared to Kal, Texas, West Wyalong, it's a frigging mile in front and then some. Good experience for us all. We initially said we'd do this for 5 years, and I am still keen on that goal. And if we need longer to set ourselves up to go live a simpler life in Barooga, then so be it. But who knows, I am always keeping an eye on Malaysia and am hoping that one day a return there might be on the cards too. I love Australia, and it's a wonderful place to raise the family, but it's not the be all and end all that I once thought it was. Anyway, we'll just stay open-minded and concentrate on the now, as that's where we're living.

Project Triglyceride

Right. So I have been feeling a bit odd for a while, so recently went to have some tests done. I have had my heart checked heaps of times, so this time went for some other categories; diabetes, cholesterol, liver function and thyroid function. The clinic I went to in Kupang was surprisingly professional and efficient, and I shall be using them again, should I need anything else done.

So interestingly, the results (which came back within 3 hours of my blood test) were much better than I expected. After years of my mum telling me that my weight problem could be a result of an underactive thyroid gland, I finally had it checked (oddly the clinic was all good with everything else, but needed prodding to do this test - I've had that reaction before, I wonder why). The result? Perfectly within normal ranges. Diabetes was another one that worried me as I was classified as pre-diabetes back in 2012. However that result was all good too. Not superb, but not in the problem range or pre-diabetes range either. Thanks to my lovely wife for helping me to have a much better diet than I used to!

So that leaves liver function and cholesterol. I was absolutely, 100% convinced that my liver was fucked. After all, I was diagnosed with a fatty liver when I was in my 20's, and what I have done since then? Drink booze, that's what. Plus that side of my body feels a bit more swollen than the other. Plus that same test back in 2012 told me it was fucked. So I was not expecting an improvement. The result? Not perfect, but not dangerous either. I don't know, I am really surprised by that! Maybe I should have the full liver series of tests done, but the 2 basic ones came back fine. That leaves cholesterol.

For this, they did 4 tests. My total cholesterol is ok. My bad cholesterol is ok. However, my good cholesterol is well below what it needs to be, and my triglycerides (fat in your blood) are well over what they should be. My reading was 336. Healthy is below 150. For a point of interest, the "you're in deep shit" category is over 500, so at least I'm not there, but I'm on the wrong side of the ledger by a long way, and it's this kind of shit that eventually will kill you. So I've got to do something about it.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-cholesterol/in-depth/triglycerides/art-20048186

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6829404

The two links above gave me a good source of info about what I'm up against and what I need to do. Ok, ok, I know one is not supposed to become Dr. Google, and that it's dangerous to manage your health this way - I have had medical advice and am taking some tablets to help me reduce my lipids (fat cells in my blood). But their main advice was lifestyle changes and these sites helped me to understand what aspects I need to focus on. This is where I'm at with regards to areas that need to be addressed:

The % impact is something I have come up with myself. The smoking one came from research about the difference in lipids between smokers and non-smokers with the same lifestyle. The others based on how I feel, which basically says that I think smoking, as well as my weight and how much I drink are the main contributors. Others may think I have it wrong, but it feels right to me. I have put down calories from food as fairly low because I think my diet is pretty reasonable overall these days. The same with sugar and refined foods, as luckily there is not much access to those things here, at least not in the food / drink groups that I usually consume. So the table above tells me the areas I need to work on. The table below shows my trig count as it stands, and where it needs to go.

So I need to reduce my current levels by 55%. To make it a nice round number I'm going to aim for 50%. For the three key areas, I also need a bit more detail to figure out a goal. Here goes:

So I figure a reasonable goal to begin with is to lose 10kg. That gets me down to 100. It's only a 9% weight loss overall, but compared to my ideal weight, it's actually a 33% loss of the variance. Now for booze:

The days are arbitrary really, but I put them in there to help me calculate. I have also put a 10% allowance on top of my estimates, just in case I have a blow-out, or if my estimates are a bit off. So I'm basically saying I am having 40 drinks per week (not standard, I'm talking cans here), and my target is to reduce that to 26. That still means booze on 4 days is ok, but 3 of them need to be MAD, and one can be a bit more of a blow-out. If I can achieve that I am also reducing my alcohol consumption by 33%.

Smoking-wise, the answer is pretty simple. I can't do the "10 sticks a day" thing. It's either all or nothing. So I need to quit. Full. Stop.

If I can do that, the following table shows how those reductions impact the original categories, and what that might mean to a % reduction in my lipids:

Ok, so this wasn't a coincidence, I fiddled with the numbers a bit, but even so, they originally came damn close to my 50% target anyway! But there it is. If I can lose 10kgs, reduce my booze by a third and quit smoking, I should be able to reduce my lipids by 50% and be healthy. I know it's not likely a direct correlation, but it works for me. I think this is a good plan, and an achievable one. The only question is timeframe. It's probably a fairly long-term proposition, but I am thinking that if I go back for another test early in the new year, that gives me 3 months to get this happening. I want to have a non-smoking body for at least a month before the test, so I need to quit by the end of November.

The booze is fairly easy I think. But I'll have to be more disciplined and not cave whenever my wife wants a drink. She doesn't have to follow the same path as me as she's already healthy. I do know she'll support me though, god love her! The smoking is going to be harder, but I have done it before, and I have the motivation to do it again. I want to watch my kids grow up, and I want to enjoy retirement with my wife. I am not going to fucking drop dead in the meantime. No way. So that leaves exercise. 2-3x per week is a flowery statement, but I think it just means I have to get off my arse for an hour here and there, and actually do something.

Not sure what though. I guess an easy one is to walk home from work. That may be difficult during the wet season though. I could also walk for an hour before work, or early in the morning on the weekend. I can't see myself doing much more than walking at the moment, but I think that's a good start. Maybe buy a bike? I'll talk to my wife about that and see what she thinks.

Anyway, that's enough post for now. Time to get cracking on this....

KL 3 Day Trip - A Visualisation - Day 2

Ok so it's been a long time since Day 1! I guess I have not been blogging much since then, plus have just not had the same inkling to daydream about travel as I did at the time of the original posts. Life has a way of getting in the way sometimes, as we all know.

Anyway, to get back to this thread, let's consider what I'd do on Day 2, considering that Day 1 was about my old haunts in the Ampang area, as well as Changkat for the evening's entertainment.

I reckon Day 3 will be about Damansara and Bangsar, and given that I'm no big fan of KLCC other than to visit the best bookshop in Malaysia - perhaps the world - in Kinokunia, maybe we'll consider spending Day 2 outside of KL.

It would be really interesting - and fun - to hire a car and cruise up the Karak freeway, through Bentong and Raub, and visit my old haunt of Kuala Lipis. There is literally nothing about Lipis itself that I miss - other than perhaps the banana leaf rice next to the train station - but the friends and colleagues from the old Penjom days are people I wouldn't mind seeing again. Particularly Harjeet, our old IT Manager, and a good friend and drinking buddy.

It's settled then. Day 2 is going to be a road trip.

Road trips back in those days contained a whole spectrum of emotions and experiences. Generally it would involve me leaving KL really early on a Monday morning, and driving the 2 hours up to Lipis. The Karak was something else - a windy, but very good divided road up through the hills, past Genting, and then exiting at Bentong. From there it was shitty country roads through to Lipis, complete with shitty country drivers, trucks with no headlights, people over-taking on blind corners, you name it. But the fun (and frankly stupid) roadtrips were often the ones home on a Friday.

Friday afternoon at Penjom, we would often have a TSF Meeting. TSF stood for Tailings Storage Facility (Tailings Dam for westerners), and was the only formal part of the phrase. What would generally happen would be that either Russ or myself would shoot down to the local Mobil, not far from the entrance to Penjom, and purchase a dozen or so cans of Tiger. We would then load up the car with beer and ice and head out to a remote part of site where we were unlikely to be disturbed. There we would shoot the shit, smash 4-5 cans each, and wind down for an hour or so before going our separate ways back to KL.

Occasionally that trip would be insane. I remember once, when I was still with the ex, having 11 cans both at the TSF and on the trip, and seriously struggling on the road on the way back. Very, very dumb I know, but hey, the things you do.

Anyway, enough of all that, it's time to consider this missive and what would entail.

Footnote: Sep 2018. Well, this has been sitting in drafts for some time, and I reckon I'm just going to leave it as it is. Reason being is that time heals all wounds, even those along the lines of missing my old lifestyle in KL. I do have amazingly fond memories about my old boozy roadtrips (and not boozy ones), especially with my wife. And I may go back there for a reminisce at some point, but not today. So thus endeth the KL trip posts I'm afraid....

The Boys

So have had this one in drafts for a while too. Just some personal notes really, about the people I have worked with over the years who have had the most impact in my life, be it personally or professionally.

Starting from my last major job, which was Penjom. It did finish in 2012, but since then I've mainly been working for ASN (not much to report from there), or with people I had worked with previously, so no need to mention again. I've certainly made some great new contacts since being in my new job, but that story will be for another time, once I've been here long enough to make an impact hopefully!

Penjom

Brian - the big fella as I call him. A great geo, great guy to chat to about anything, and a good friend. Last time I was in KL he was the only one I caught up with. Possibly because he's the only one left haha, but even so, he would be #1 on the list. Incredibly smart, and we made a bloody good team, him with the geology and me with the mining. Had Penjom not been taken over and had we got the backing we needed for the major cutback, well I think we could have made that place hum again. As it happens, it's now dwindling into nothingness.

JR - I worked with JR at Penjom, ASN, and SoG, so have known him since roughly 2000. He's a great guy, Mr. Social as we call him, and he's great for a drink. We didn't always see eye to eye when he was my boss, but that's ok. I did learn from him about the importance of being accountable to your KPI's, and I did enjoy his company and friendship. Over the years, I have learned that real friends make it a 2-way street. I'm not saying a lot of my other friends are not real friends, but JR more than anyone else will be the one to make contact with me and see how I'm going. I always remember and appreciate that. He has a great family too, and we enjoyed a number of catch-ups with all of us back in the days living in KL.

Dean - Interestingly enough, Dean replaced me at Tarmoola in 2002, but despite knowing of him, I never met him until he hired me to Penjom in 2008. He also gave me work in the Philippines and at Wetar, and offered me a role at SC&G, which I couldn't take because it's FIFO. Based on what's happened since, I'm damn glad I didn't! Dean is a very smart man, and a great manager. He was always happy to essentially leave me to my own devices, and I have never had a boss like him, in terms of support and representing me to the executive. I learned a great deal from him and will always be thankful for his influence and friendship.

Russ - another one of the stalwarts, and together, Dean, Russ and I made up the TSF Meeting management team. Ok so that was our secret catch-cry for going up to a quiet spot on the TSF, generally on a Friday arvo, and sinking a few cans while talking about what was going on. Fantastic memories, the likes of which are unlikely to ever be repeated sadly. Mainly because Dean is determined to be Oz-based now, and thus even if we all worked together again, it would be somewhere in Oz, and TSF Meetings would be way to risky to hold! But Russ was a consummate professional, and always encouraged me to take things up a notch. I valued his counsel greatly, both at work and as a friend too.

Stu - Stu was one of the younger members of the team. A great technical engineer, who strived for more, and did get his chance at management once he left Avocet. He was really my right-hand man at Penjom and was supremely capable to turn my ideas into workable solutions, and with a lot of his own input too. A great guy, always up for a beer or a game of squash, and someone I would gladly catch up with if I ever got the chance.

Bob - dear old Bob. He almost died prior to joining Penjom, lucky the medical picked up his heart issue. A very old school Kiwi maintenance boss, who never pulled his punches or minced his words. We had a bit of a tense beginning, but after a while we became the best of mates. He has a heart of gold and knows his shit. I do feel fondly of the old boy.

Subra - there is a whole post about Subra earlier in this blog, so I won't go into too much detail, but I will say that I really admire Subra for his professionalism and work ethic. He is a good friend, and someone I will always keep in touch with.

Graeme - Richo could figure in any one of these sections, as he is in a unique category. I first worked with him at KCGM, then Tarmoola, then Murrin, then Cement Australia, then Barrick, then JMS, then Penjom. Wow, we have maintained an amazing level of professional contact over the years. He is one of the good guys, and now has a huge, thriving training business back in Perth. He is the MD of that, and doesn't do much training himself anymore. But anytime I need him, he saddles up, comes and susses the place out, puts together a training program, and helps me improve things. The man is a winner and a true legend of the mining industry in my opinion. Plus he will always be a good mate.

Skip - Skip is a funny old bugger. An old blasting guy from way back when, but someone who always knew his shit too. He had retired from mining when we got him to help us improve our blasting at Penjom, but he was happy to help. And help he did, he knew the practicalities of cleaning up a bench, setting out a shot, drilling it, taking samples, and firing it more than pretty much anyone else I have worked with in blasting - and blast design was my forte back in the old days when I used to be at the pointy end of mining engineering. He's a very different person though - don't get him on Hash days - but I do enjoy catching up with him in Bali for a beer and a yarn whenever I can. - p

JMS / Cement Australia

Bob Barnard - poor old Bob passed away earlier this year. It was very sad. Bob was one of life's true gentlemen. Hard, but always courteous, ambitious but always compassionate, and he was a good friend and advisor of mine over the years. We first worked together at Cement Australia, where he advised me on expanding the project as I was trying to do. Then we ended up at JMS together, where he had much the same role. I fondly remember us doing a tender visit to Mildura together, and whiling away the evening playing pool, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. May you rest in peace dear Bob, you are missed my friend. We also ended up at ASN together too, where he was a director.

Ib - Ib and I share a similar path to what Bob and I did, with the exception of JMS. Ib was in charge of procurement when I was at CA, and helped me to get my fleet replacement strategy in place, and did a grand job of it. Then he too ended up as a consultant to ASN, and we had numerous trips out to the bush together. Ib is also one of life's gentlemen, a really upstanding man, passionate about doing things properly, and someone who's company I enjoyed. We still email from time to time, but I haven't seen him in ages.

Jeff - That man Spann. 50+, bachelor, gym junkie, drove a sports car, couldn't hold down a steady relationship. He was my maintenance guy at CA. He was a bit emo, and struggled a bit with managing people (as I made him a supervisor), but he was trustworthy and he was my friend. We had many a night together at Bo Jangles in Gladstone, or the titty bar as he used to call it. We did a lot of good at CA, together with Keely, and Jon Kotlar, but I have lost touch with those two and haven't spoken to them in years.

Tarmoola / Murrin

Bruce - The McFadzean was my first ever mentor. There's not much this man doesn't know about mining, in fact probably nothing. He is a first-class guy, a great teacher, and an inspirational leader. I started on the same day with him at KCGM, and while he was a superintendent, he just described himself as a mining engineer like me, so I was immediately comfortable with him. He really taught me a lot. I followed him to Tarmoola and then to Murrin. After a couple of years there it was time for me to spread my wings and go elsewhere. I have caught up with him a few times in the ensuing years, but not for a while now. I wouldn't discount the potential of us working together again sometime to be honest!

Gully - I first met Gully when he was a shotfirer at Tarmoola. He then joined us at Murrin, and eventually started studying to be an engineer, a role he still fills now. A clever and hardworking guy, and a good friend. We had many beers over the years, but alas it has been a long, long time since I have seen him.

Adam - Similar story to Gully, Tarmoola and Murrin. Cereal Boy we used to call him, as there was nothing he couldn't eat. But he is a huge guy, and a great friend. He helped me enormously when I was struggling between jobs at some stage, and has always been there for me. I do miss the big fella. I caught up with him and his family in Perth a couple of years ago, and hope to see him again before too long. I might even email him today actually.

Chook - Monster was running the pit at Tarmoola when I got there, and was a huge help to me in getting established. I remember fondly going bush with him "on the froth" as he called it, out near Leonora one afternoon. I also caught up with him in KL one day back in 2012, which was awesome. He has spent a number of years in SEA too, since the Goldfields days, and is now running cattle somewhere in QLD I believe, inbetween contracts in Laos. Another fella I hope to catch up with one of these days.

Deefer - Damon was a geo at Tarmoola and also a good friend. He was a seriously capable guy, and has done well for himself. We swap emails from time to time, but I haven't seen him in years.

Simon - I went to uni with Simon, and we had some great experiences together, from strip poker nights, to field trips, to picking fruit together near my hometown over a summer. We worked together for a time for SoG, although he was Kal-based so didn't see a whole lot of him. Since then he has moved from strength to strength and has done very well in Brazil, where he has twice tried to get me to join him. I feel so bad about that, as it would be an awesome opportunity, but alas not for me as it can't be residential. Plus while I am happy to be away from home (Barooga), I don't want to be on the other side of the world. Never say never, but not now at least anyway.

KCGM

Skinny - Skinny Gazza was one of the stalwarts at KCGM when I got there, and taught me a whole lot about how the superpit worked. He was a great advisor, always a level head, and a good friend. We caught up a number of times while I was still working around WA (up to and including the JMS days) but I haven't seen him since then.

Coops - Coops is much in the same boat. A good old head on his shoulders and a great friend. I will never forget though, him outbidding me while I was drunk on that bloody Corporate James horse whip and making me pay $500 for it! But it went to a good cause, so all good there. We visited Vietnam together back in 1997, which was my first foray overseas as an adult, and still keep in touch, although not as often as I'd like.

Alex - Bone was a great colleague of mine at KCGM and taught me a lot about being a decent person as well as a decent engineer and professional. We almost got something happening in Malaysia recently, but it never eventuated unfortunately. Still keep in touch though.

Dave Lowe - Me old Pommy mate. I only knew him for a year - we worked together and shared a house together in Kal. As well as many a good night on the turps, or rolling our eyes at our crazy roommate Ed. After many years we got in touch again, he's now in paving in the UK and doing great. I really hope I can see him again one day.

Well that's the list. There are no doubt many other people I could have mentioned who have had an impact in one way or another (not always good in the long-run), but these guys are the core group. I have been lucky enough to work with and enjoy my time with many great people over the years. I could write a whole book about those experiences frankly, but this gives a decent sample of it.

Friendship

So I thought I'd put this in, for something different. I don't really have a creative bone in my body, at least when it comes to art. But I am reasonably good at writing, and really enjoying using vocabulary to express what it is I'm trying to say.

Most of the time it's just prose, like most of this blog, and descriptive, rather than emotive at that. But occasionally, I have been inspired to write poetry. Not for a long time - it was more of a thing when I was younger. And generally, I wrote poems for other people, never keeping a copy for myself. Weird huh. But one exception to that is a poem I wrote when I was 16. I didn't keep a copy of this either, but I always remembered it for some reason. Anyway, here is it:

A friend is someone to share,
In your hopes and your fears.
To look with to the stars,
And to wipe away the tears.

A friend isn't bothered,
By your minor indiscretions.
Always there to listen to,
Your gripes and your obsessions.

Like you guardian angel,
A friend will always be.
To lead you when you're blind,
And gently help you to see.

Throughout your life you'll find,
Your friends will see you through.
To love, and to share with,
And to dream with, too.

Very simple, but I like the message, even now. I wouldn't say I'm very emotionally mature even now at 45, but then I was just a baby. But still, I had some idea about how it all worked.

Russell In The Hut

I wrote the title for this post about six months ago when I had a flashback, but never did any more on the post. Recent events have inspired me to write it up.

Russell In The Hut is a memory from the old days of the Superpit. That's when I lived in Kalgoorlie from 1995-1998. I finished university in 1994 and moved to Southern Cross. A town about two hours drive out of Kal, on the way back to Perth. It was a depressing place and a shit job, so when I made my first trip to Kal on a weekend and stuck my nose over the edge at the Superpit Tourist Lookout, I said to myself, this is where I want to work!!!

Check out that photo. You can see why it excited a young mining engineer! So I went back to SX and wrote to KCGM (Kalgoorlie Consolidated Gold Mines), expressing interest in a job. As it happens, they were looking for new engineers, but had not advertised at that point, and the boss was keen on my initiative, so they gave me an interview, and then a job. Production Engineer, Fimiston Open Pits, was my title. That's what we called it - Fimiston - a more historic name, as most people who worked there thought Superpit sounded a bit pretentious. But it really is a super pit, and the largest mine I have ever worked in by a long shot.

One of the things about KCGM was the Wenco system. It was quite cutting-edge in those days, and was a GPS-based computer monitoring system of all the heavy mining equipment. It helped us to better understand productivity and efficiency, and was monitored by an operator who sat in a hut on the edge of the pit. A lot of the time that was an old foreman by the name of Russell - also known as the screaming skull, as boy oh boy could he crap on and talk shit. But on the 2-way, people would often call "copy Russell in the hut", and thus for many of us, that was how we addressed him.

The reason I am inspired to write this now is that very recently, while looking for someone to assist me in putting together some mining costs for my new job, I came across a name I had not heard in many a year - Joe Hurst. Joe was the Maintenance Super for Roche Bros, the mining contractor, during my time at KCGM. So I had not seen him since 1998, 20 long years ago!

Far out I am getting old. At the end of this year I will have been a mining engineer for 25 years. Boy oh boy.

Anyway, I couldn't finish without describing one more aspect of the job. The social side. Back then mining was very much a work hard, party hard kind of industry. I guess it still is to a degree, but nothing like in those days. And Kalgoorlie was party central! We had a slightly acrimonious relationship with Roche, as they weren't making enough money, and thus there was a lot of pressure on all sides. But partially because I was junior to the major decision-making and partly because I'm me I guess, I got on really well with all the Roche guys, and remember this Christmas Party, and these two fellows below, really well.

So yeah, I was still a chubs in those days! Haha, Martin had obviously told a dirty joke, and Frank and I were pissing ourselves! I still keep in touch with Martin, and have seen him many a time over the years, although I must admit, not in the last few. Will have to rectify that.

Lastly, I couldn't finish this post without one more photo. One of the man who's namesake this post is about. The screaming skull himself. He's the one Martin appears to be trying to seduce...

Volcanoes I Have Visited

So with all the talk about various volcanoes in the region blowing their top recently (Bali and Vanuatu), I thought I'd post about the active volcanoes I have visited over my life, which interestingly numbers 4 at this stage!

Anak Krakatau

Crappy photo I know, but it's a scan from an old processed photo back in 1987 when I visited this volcano, and the pic was quite aged before I scanned it. Nevertheless it was an amazing experience, particularly as a 15 year old on my first ever trip away from my parents.

The volcano itself was simply incredible. These days nobody is allowed to visit it without a permit, as it's considered very dangerous. Hey it probably was then too, but we were not to know. But I will always remember walking at the bottom of the crater of one of the most famous volcanoes in the world. Nature is truly amazing.

We actually camped at the base of the volcano for two days. I was too young and naive to realise at the time, but the dangerous bit was the fact that our camp was robbed by fishermen/pirates overnight. I actually saw them but assumed they were part of our boat crew.

Climbing up the volcano was a challenge in itself. As it is still very active, the slopes are just all ash and large volcanic boulders, so it was quite a hike. Lucky I was fit in those days!

The eruption of Krakatau (called Krakatoa by the Europeans in the old days) actually ushered in some important scientific advances, not the least of which was the discovery of plate tectonics. Anyone interested in volcanoes, this eruption in particular, or the science that followed, would do well to read Krakatoa by Simon Winchester. It's a fantastic and fascinating read.

Bandung

This was also part of the same trip, a quick stopover at the volcano near Bandung, on the way back to Jakarta. I never quite caught the name of it, so I just call it the Bandung Volcano. It is also active, and absolutely reeked of Sulfur, but nothing obvious was happening there when we visited, so apart from the tremendous scenery, it was nowhere near as impressive as Krakatau.

One of the other interesting parts of this trip occurred here, which was me buying a set of nun-chucks (not sure if that's how you spell it). They were very cool, and also very cheap. Alas I was living in Singapore at the time, so they were deemed a deadly weapon when I returned, and confiscated. Possibly just as well - I managed to bash myself a number of times playing with them in the hotel room anyway, so who knows what damage I might have ended up doing to myself!

Mt St Helens

These trips get better as I get older. I met a girl online, and when I was on a trip to the USA, I decided to visit her, way up in a tiny little town called Hermiston, in Oregon. It was an incredible trip, my first ever stateside, and let's just say I was not prepared. It was the end of March, so I assume Spring would be in full flow. Well maybe it was, but even so IT WAS DAMN COLD! I have pictures of me cavorting in the snow wearing shorts! Where there's no sense... as they say :)

So anyway, I was asking this girl about where she lived, and of course I had never heard of it. So she points out one of the nearest famous landmarks, and boy did that ring a bell - Mt St Helens!!! Wow. It suddenly dawned on me why I was so interested in volcanoes in the first place. It was when this particular one blew its top in 1980 and captivated the world, that I was drawn in. I remembered the video of it exploding out from the side and the cataclysmic aftermath. The sheer power of this beast, and the dawning on a young fellow like me at the time of what tremendous destruction nature can cause, has stuck with me forever.

The photos below show you the side of the volcano as it stands - vaporised into nothing in the blast. Plus a close-up view of the inside of the crater, and the new dome forming within. Lastly the plane which I chartered to go up there and have a look. More on that story to follow below!

So it's fair to say I didn't know what I was up against on this trip. It was 1999, and whilst we had internet then, the good old Trip Advisor and such was not in full swing, and I was very much relying on my Lonely Planet travel guide, which is what kept me in good stead on many trips to various places around the world. It's kind of sad that those days are probably gone, as lugging around a 2kg guide book is definitely something you want to avoid when travelling if you can!

Anyway, so it was March, and while Spring, as you can see from the photos above, the mountain was still covered in snow. So there was simply no way for me to climb it. So I let my fingers do the walking and checked out the local yellow pages. It turns out there were many charter flight companies operating in the area, but they were all closed for the winter season. All but one that is...

One guy answered the phone and said yes he could take me up there for a flight. I can't remember how much it cost but it was about $300 I think. Not bad really. So this guy turned up at my motel (I'd moved on from my visit to my friend at this stage). He was driving a huge Cadillac, which didn't surprise me - I was in America after all. What did surprise me was when I got in the car and noticed that instead of the usual two levers attached to the steering column, this car had about eight! WTF? But again, I just put it down to an American thing and quickly brushed it off. The pilot was a crusty bearded old guy, very friendly, and immediately put me at ease. I was pumped for this trip!

We got to the aerodrome, and he pulled up right next to his little 2-seater plane, which was interesting. So I get out of the car, but he doesn't. Instead he winds down the window and says hey can you release the guy ropes for me? Those are the ropes anchored to the ground, holding down the plane in case of high winds. I'm thinking, you lazy fuck, but then I thought, ok maybe a tourist gimmick to get us involved. So I did it. Only after I finished did I realise the truth - the guy (sorry, can't remember his name) asked me to come over to the car, and to help him strap his legs on! Yep, that was the reason behind all the levers - he didn't have any legs. I asked him what happened and he told me he was a helicopter pilot in the Vietnam War. I asked him if he was shot down, and he said nah, I just crashed. Oops.

But I was too pumped to let that small detail bug me, and we were shortly airborne, and winging our way to the volcano. Along the way we saw some incredible scenery, including Spirit Lake, which is still full of thousands of logs - trees that were blown over by the force of the explosion back in 1980.

When we arrived at Mt St Helens, the view was stunning. I took over four rolls of film (yep old tech then) and was just in awe. We circled it a few times, and I asked the pilot if we could get closer. He asked how close I wanted to go. I said "can we go inside the crater?" He looked at me, gave me a cheesy grin, and said "nobody has ever asked me to do that before, let's do it!". So down we went. Alas I couldn't get any decent pics inside the crater, as the turbulence was too great. But needless to say it was an incredible experience. I am a bit of a nervous flyer, but when you're in a light plane and can see all around you, all the bumping doesn't matter so much because you can see how little you're actually moving up and down in relation to your altitude. What a trip and what a memory!

Yasur

The last active volcano I have visited was the most intense of the lot, at least from the "active" point of view. Yasur is quite unusual, as in it never, and I mean never, stops erupting. Well perhaps erupting is the wrong word, because not a great deal comes out of it, it just sits there and boils like a big pot of chili con carne.

I went there in 2006. Vanuatu is a fascinating place, and I thoroughly recommend it for a visit. People there really do work on "island time", so nothing happens quickly, nor necessarily as you imagined it would to begin with. But if you're relaxed and flexible, you'll have a ball.

I first knew abour Yasur from watching one of the first series of Survivor. That was a good show that kept me entertained during my year in Gladstone QLD. I don't remember why they visited the volcano, but they did, and it stuck with me. Anyway, so after a few days on the main island, it was over to Tanna, where the volcano is. I stayed at the White Grass Resort, which was simply incredible. Not so much the resort itself, but the scenery and the amazing swimming and snorkeling that could be done there.

The trip to the volcano was in the back of a truck, a couple of hours drive to the base of the cone.

After climbing up the roughly 100m slope to the rim of the crater, boy were we in for some adrenaline pumping. The volcano as I said, is always boiling, but roughly every 30 seconds it spits - sometimes just a little, sometimes a lot. So we're standing at the rim and it spits madly. 2,500 degree volcanic bombs launch into the air above us. The guide calmly tells us to just watch them, then step to the side to avoid them as they come down. WTF!!!!! He said don't run, as you will certainly get hurt. Seriously, this was damn stressful, constantly having to watch for aerial bombardment. I asked the guide how big these bombs could get. He pointed down the slope to a rock the size of a bus and said that one came overhead a couple of weeks ago. Far out. I then asked if they had ever had anyone hurt. He told me usually one or two die every year. Ok. I didn't sign up for that. I love volcanoes, but I am not someone who likes to risk their life, so it was at that point I decided to leave the rest of the group to it and head back down the slope. I'm glad I visited the place, but seriously, it is way too dangerous for me. I can now see why only people 15yo and above are allowed to go on the tour!

So that's it for my volcano resume at this point. I am living in Indonesia now, the world's home of volcanoes, so who knows, maybe I can add to the list sometime soon!