My Family - Sophie

This is a letter I wrote to Lala in March 2017. I intend to stick it in her almost finished baby book. We read somewhere once that it is a wonderful gift to one's kids to write them a series of letters as they grow, as something to look back on when they (and you) are older.

"Dearest Sophie,

This is my first letter to you! Mummy and I thought it would be nice to write little letters to you as you grow, so that one day you can read about your childhood from our point of view.

Now you are four years old, soon to turn five next month! You are going to school full-time now, and have become quite a celebrity at your new school! We are so proud of you, for your intelligence, sweet nature, and your confidence to do new things. You are a very out-going little girl, and get on so well with everyone.

For me, you're a little diplomat, always wanting to make everyone happy, and look after others. It amazes me how you stick up for your brother Daniel, even when he is in trouble for hurting you! You have a gentle and beautiful nature, an inquisitive mind, and a loving heart. Still, sometimes you can be four going on 14, and behave like a petulant teenager! But those episodes are infrequent, and most of the time you are a perfect child. Haha, actually it can be hard to parent the boys using you as a template, as your behaviour is usually so good.

As your dad, I couldn't be more proud of you Sophie. I love you so very, very much, and want to be the best father to you I can be. I am sometimes torn between wanting to protect you and wanting to let you learn about the world as much as I can. I like to think I tend towards the latter these days, whereas when you were younger I was a lot more protective. But you are a smart little girl, and generally you know your boundaries and what you're comfortable with pretty well. 

I have enjoyed so many of our experiences as a family since you have been around; our trips to the beach, going to the playground in Malaysia, watching you learn to swim at such a young age and overcoming your fear. You have grown and learned so much, and the years have just flown past. Mummy and I are lucky that we still have a baby in the house right now, so we don't miss the past too much. But I do flick through our old photos once in a while, and have many, many happy memories of your first four years in this world. You are a bright and beautiful little girl Sophie, and your daddy loves you unconditionally."

It's amazing that this was written nine years, yet it still poignant and very valid today. My little girl, who is not at all little anymore, is one of the nicest people I know. 

I'm really happy that we are a little more grounded these days, here in Echuca, and that you have been able to make a great group of friends. Covid has interrupted that to a degree, but you do well playing with your friends online. I'm glad that avenue has been available to you. Sometimes Mama and I are a little concerned that you might be a bit lazy perhaps, but you are always first to volunteer for anything - be it gym, scouts, playground, anything. So rather than lazy, I think you're just a very content person Lala, and one who is happy to just be happy, doing whatever is available to you, and enjoying your life. You're a very clever girl, you grasp new ideas and activities so quickly, and I am very proud of your many achievements at school. You will go far in life my girl, and I intend to give you as many opportunities to do so as possible.

Me and B

Peas in a pod in many ways, are my eldest boy and I. 

Recently we had a bit of a stoush, where he thought I was calling him an idiot and a retard. What I actually said was that he was acting like an idiot, and perhaps a retard too. When one thinks about such things in hindsight, it doesn't sound so good. I know it is inappropriate to call anyone a retard, despite it being a socially-accepted norm, well it used to be at least anyway. Nor is it probably good parenting on my behalf. It is an interesting notion though, because I maintain that I was never calling him an idiot, I just don't want him to act like one. He sees no difference, and maybe he is right. After all it's his perception and his feelings that matter, especially seeing as it was his behaviour that I was trying to address.

Where he and I are so similar - ok one of the million ways - is that we are both quick to anger and retaliate, although he does seem to hold onto it longer than I do. It's never easy, seeing your own character and personality flaws reflected in your children, because it becomes very clear where they come from. I guess on the positive side, it does give one the opportunity to improve oneself, and I like to think I have certainly shown improvement in this area over time. The spoon no longer comes out, and I use methods other than screaming to break through the situation and get attention on me to rectify a problem. That's not to say that situations don't occur so much, nor are they problematic - but we all realise that more drastic means of breaking through and getting people to hit the reset button, are not very effective.

That's a fairly recent photo of me and B. It is true what they say, if you have one extreme then you will have the other too. B might be prone to some serious anger and "black cloud mood" issues, but he is also full of love and a very expressive and wonderful boy. Being his dad is one of the best experiences I have ever had, and it is certainly helping me grow. I just need to make sure that I try and make his experience a positive one as much as possible too. I love you B.

Days Off

 Yeah, so it has been one of those years - not much in the way of posting for a while. But I am determined to get back into it. After all, this blog is one of my life goals - to tell my story and have it there for others to read in future (when I say others, I mean my kids when they are older).

So at the moment it is Saturday. Yesterday was a public holiday (GF Friday), marking the first of two short weeks for me. This four day work-week is to be followed by an even better two day work-week next week, when I am taking three days annual leave in order to spend time with my family, rest, and take care of some projects.

Projects. OMFG. Do I have some or what. But I have made some inroads recently, and think mostly positive thoughts about them. Project-work seems to go like this for me: tick one off, add another ten to the list. I don't know why that is the case, but it seems to be that way.

Anyway, what this post is about is deciding what I want to do with the eight days I have available to me (with two work days in-between) in these two shortened weeks. I am thinking I'll try to get 16 things done - two per day - which should not be too onerous. This is what I'm thinking:

The yellow ones are things I have already managed to do, so we're off to a good start. Today I might even go for a walk, as it's nice and sunny, pick a book to start reading, and do some Lego with the kids. Wish me luck!

Footnote: So where did I end up? Well, after my eight days off, I hadn't done anything with the kids' passports, I hadn't listed any Lego and I had not managed a second walk (rainy weather). So all in all, not too bad.