Me and B

Peas in a pod in many ways, are my eldest boy and I. 

Recently we had a bit of a stoush, where he thought I was calling him an idiot and a retard. What I actually said was that he was acting like an idiot, and perhaps a retard too. When one thinks about such things in hindsight, it doesn't sound so good. I know it is inappropriate to call anyone a retard, despite it being a socially-accepted norm, well it used to be at least anyway. Nor is it probably good parenting on my behalf. It is an interesting notion though, because I maintain that I was never calling him an idiot, I just don't want him to act like one. He sees no difference, and maybe he is right. After all it's his perception and his feelings that matter, especially seeing as it was his behaviour that I was trying to address.

Where he and I are so similar - ok one of the million ways - is that we are both quick to anger and retaliate, although he does seem to hold onto it longer than I do. It's never easy, seeing your own character and personality flaws reflected in your children, because it becomes very clear where they come from. I guess on the positive side, it does give one the opportunity to improve oneself, and I like to think I have certainly shown improvement in this area over time. The spoon no longer comes out, and I use methods other than screaming to break through the situation and get attention on me to rectify a problem. That's not to say that situations don't occur so much, nor are they problematic - but we all realise that more drastic means of breaking through and getting people to hit the reset button, are not very effective.

That's a fairly recent photo of me and B. It is true what they say, if you have one extreme then you will have the other too. B might be prone to some serious anger and "black cloud mood" issues, but he is also full of love and a very expressive and wonderful boy. Being his dad is one of the best experiences I have ever had, and it is certainly helping me grow. I just need to make sure that I try and make his experience a positive one as much as possible too. I love you B.