Vote of Confidence

It occurred to me this morning that perhaps one of the reasons I have not been blogging as much as I'd like is that many of my draft blogs are big-ticket posts about my life and history. Yep, that is kind of the point of this blog, so it's no surprise, but those big posts are not easy to write, and I find I need to be in the right zone to do them. But my intent is not to leave the blog idle in-between those posts, but to fill it with the more mundane, quirky, or just inspiring things that happen to me in life. I think that gives the blog flavour and keeps it interesting. For me at least anyway, and perhaps for my family in due course if and when they read it.

So onto today's post. I have become a bit of a scrooge at Xmas these days, and if it wasn't for the fact I have kids and a mum who is a traditionalist, I'd likely ignore it altogether. But of course the kids love it, and Mum enjoys having us all over for lunch, so we do it. I must admit, I love the excited look on my kids' faces when they see their stocking or open their presents, and I always enjoy the time with my family - well mostly anyway. In the past we used to get the whole, extended family together for Omi's birthday on Xmas Eve (see the post on Omi & Opi about this in more detail), and most of the attendees were people I would not go out of my way to see at any other time. Anyway, I digress.

One thing I don't do anymore is write Xmas cards. Generally pointless and 99% of the time clearly just going through the motions for people - Dear X, Merry Xmas, From Y. Whoopie F'ing Doo. So with the exception of my wife, I don't write them anymore. And of course, surprise, surprise, that also means I don't receive them anymore (with the exception of my mum). So I was a tad surprised when I walked into my office yesterday to find one lying on my desk. I immediately assumed it was from one of our myriad of suppliers, who often want to grease palms to maintain goodwill, and fair enough to them too. However this card was from one of the teams at work. On the front it was a bunch of cats wearing Xmas hats, but the photo below shows what was on the back: 

I must admit, I was a little humbled to read those words. I do try to be a good leader, but these days I often find that I am compromised because of internal and external pressures and just not knowing how to deal with it all. I seem to find that almost everything I do is less than 100%, which frankly annoys the piss out of me. It's not that I am a perfectionist, it's more that I know the pressure my team work under, so it I feel I am not able to give them my all, I am letting them down. I am spread so thin these days that this outcome is inevitable. Plus I deal with this stress poorly sometimes (often), letting off steam and hating everything frankly. So knowing that others in the business still see value to what I do makes a difference, and I am grateful both for the thoughtfulness of the card, and the vote of confidence within.