I Want

I want to go back to Hong Kong. I want to go back to Singapore. I want to go back to Malaysia.

What does it mean? Why am I perpetually drawn to Asia? When I was there I always had a soft spot for Australia, but never did I yearn to return. Each and every time I have (as an adult), I have always ended up back in Asia - South East Asia specifically.

I guess it is in my DNA. I spent my formative years in these places, and key parts of my adulthood too. So maybe it is a natural draw. Or maybe it is because life has been a bit hard lately. This last year I have had numerous instances where I wanted to leave my job, as I felt overwhelmed and/or helpless and/or having a gutful of my boss.

Interestingly though, in those times there have been numerous instances where I wondered if I was going to have to deal with conflict or negative feedback - I catastrophised to myself that I would go down swinging so-to-speak, leave in a huff, and be on my bike. Those things never happened. In fact on the occasions when I had those meetings I was anticipating, I always felt better and more supported afterwards. So, as always, my own worst enemy is myself. When surrounded by peers and my leaders, I am supported and enabled. So why am I still having itchy feet? Remember, this kind of stability is what I always wanted...

2023 will be an interesting year then, I am sure. Now that Lala is not going to be school captain, the tie I had put there to keep me here is no longer in place. Yes I think all my kids would rather stay, but really only Loaf is particularly tied to this location. Wifey works now, but she is very resilient and easy-going. What I need to do is figure out, say with Monster's offer from last year, what three years overseas would look like financially, and what another say 4-5 would look like here. In terms of my retirement I mean. 20k US per month was a pretty good offer after all.

The reality is, it's going to have to be something special and unique to get me to move. It is also not really that likely. What is important is focussing on the here and now, and making the best of it. Yes, if something really good comes up, consider it. But if not, and certainly in the meantime, be here, be present, and be your best self.

That's my advice to myself, today. I attach the photo below as a reminder of what good things stability for one's family can bring.