A Rethink

This is a post by Tim May (ex-Aussie cricketer and part of the old school brigade)" 

"About 20 months ago, I made a decision at the commencement of the pandemic to quit alcohol. I certainly wasn’t an habitual drinker but would definitely go overboard from time to time. I found myself becoming more reclusive, moody and depressed. After being diagnosed with a leaking aortic valve in my heart and a scary incident with alcohol, I decided enough was enough. I booked myself into rehab!

The 30 days I spent there was eye-opening for me. I bought into the program 100% and since then have never had an urge to drink.

As part of the program, I was required to go to AA meetings for 90 consecutive days. I will never forget my first meeting when a guy who had been sober for 7 years said that since he gave up alcohol he has found true happiness – the rest of the group all agreed. I thought they were full of shit. I had so much fun drinking, and drinking gave me the confidence that I lacked naturally.

I am here today to say they were not full of shit – I have never been happier, never felt so confident and never felt so clear in thought. And my golf game is about 10 shots better. It’s the most important thing I have done in my life.

I know that not all addictive people have found it as easy as me to kick their habit. I am extremely fortunate to have a wonderful family to support me, not too many worries in life and am at an age where my mates are all scaling down their Saturday nights."

Wow, that is something. For some time now, not always but often enough, I have known that drinking was impacting my life. Yes I was still functioning, and yes I was mostly a decent person, but so often my day was geared towards when I could crack a can.

The photo above is me and a couple of good mates - both working and drinking mates, at about 8am at KLIA on our way to a convention in Bali. We quickly abandoned the convention and spent the rest of the trip drinking. It was a lot of fun, but boy I paid for it - liver pains, days long hangovers, etc. That was December 2010, over 12 years ago. All that has changed is that I have slowed down due to health and age. Yes I drink mid-strength or light beers almost exclusively now, but still, I drink a good six days per week on average, and ~10 cans per day when I do. It's simply too much.

Then, there is the family heritage aspect. Many of my previous generations family members have died from alcohol-related illness and disease. Alcoholism is not a stranger to the Brown family. No, I am not drinking metho like poor old Uncle Harold, nor having pints of beer with double-double whisky chasers at 9am like Uncle Ted, but still, the booze is too big a part of my life.

The thing is, I don't want to give it up as I enjoy it. Looking at Tim May's words, perhaps I need to give myself the chance to experience life without it and see just how good that can be. Today marks Day #4 of no booze since coming back home from NSW earlier in the week. I am going to do tomorrow too at least, but then I'm off to Broken Hill for work, which will likely involve beers again. Wifey is also keen on cutting down a lot, which helps, as we both struggle a bit with this issue (me more so of course though). I do enjoy the clarity of mind, and the apparent increase amount of time available to do things. 

So, this remains an ongoing issue and somewhat of a struggle. I am not yet ready to give it away completely, but I do recognise that I need to take back control, and consume less alcohol. No question about that. I am committed to doing so.