Going C.U.

Only wifey will know what that means.

But going C.U. is exactly what I did, back in June, at the bloody board meeting to present the F24 budget no less. I had given my presentation, which was pretty well received I might add, we had had lunch, and I was on my way back to the board room. What happened was I took a step, caught my foot in the plush carpet, and went down. Unfortunately I landed with all my weight on the ball of my left palm, and that force drove up into my elbow joint, cracking it. You can see the small wedge on the upper left of the ball in the x-ray.

Far out if frigging hurt too. We were at the Moama bowls club, and it was packed. Because it was kind of formal, I wore my only proper pants, which are a bit baggy. Combine that with my slip on shoes and the plush carpet, with a healthy dose of my klutzy nature thrown in for good measure, and down I went. You'd think, in the environment of the bowlo, that it would be someone like me, helping up a poor old lady who had gone C.U. But oh no, it was two of them who ended up hauling my sorry arse back to its feet!

Anyway. I went back to the board room, and sat there in a lot of pain. After the rest re-converged, I had to excuse myself and go to the ER. In due course I got x-rayed and the break was confirmed. I had a half-cast to stabilise my arm, and spent the next month treating it very gingerly. 

It is not my first rodeo either. In the past I have been in hospital for a badly broken nose, thanks to 1) Joe De something or other being a fuckwit and 2) me being a dumb-ass and putting my head where the ball was, when said f-wit was punching it. Smashed my nose, and I needed surgery to repair it. 

Around the same time in life - Cobram High - I also knocked all my bottom teeth at 90 degrees, so pretty much broken, when I tackled some very big kid in British Bulldogs, and went down like a sack of shit with him, smashing my chin into his shoulder. The dentist simply pushed - very forcibly so - my teeth back into place. OMG it felt like my skull was going to break in half.

But wait, we're not over yet, not by a long shot! My first known break was my collarbone, back in the Singapore days at about the age of 14 or 15. I was riding my pushbike, and tried to go over a speed bump. Unfortunately, instead of sailing over it, I hit it and stopped. Well, my bike stopped, I kept going - over the handlebars and onto my shoulder, breaking the bone. Being the bone it is, no cast was possible, so I wandered around in a sling for a few weeks.

The last one may have actually happened not long before the collarbone, but for some reason I thought it was after. Again, riding a bike, I was going like a shower of shit, when my foot slipped off the pedal. What happened then was my poor toe stubbed into the bitumen at speed, and jammed. I never got it diagnosed, but it hurt for weeks after, so I am pretty sure it broke. This incident is why I am currently telling my boy Daniel not to wear thongs when riding his new bike!

Actually, I am telling this out of order in other ways too. I just reminded myself of something. When I was getting the x-ray on my arm recently, the doctor asked me about when I broke my wrist. I'm like, WTF? That never happened Doc! He showed me, and clearly it did, the evidence remains. So I am thinking that when I went over the handlebars, I must have gone down on my wrist as well as my shoulder, and broken both at the same time. The collarbone was diagnosed, but the wrist was not. Nevertheless, the sling supported both, so I healed never knowing I had broken two bones in the incident!

I think that covers it. I have been punched a couple of times in my life that I suspect broke my nose again too, but let's not worry about those too much. I may tell the stories at another time - one about my brief foray into bullying, that deserved the punch, and another about the end of my first marriage, which did not.