Here I Am, Yet Again

Yeah, that's me, the same old knucklehead. 

Getting too angry, yelling, scaring my kids. 

They do need correcting, and admonishment when they do stupid things. But this needs to be done from a loving heart, not from a hostile one. 

I have had issues lately. I have been on a knife's edge half the time lately. That's how it feels. I have successfully arranged to ditch half my job, which, given that it isn't going to cost me any of my package, is a superb win! But it will take some time to find a new GM for up there, hand over to them, and then consolidate and start anew down here.

In the meantime, I need to relax (trying some natural remedies to help with this), focus on the positives, and manage myself into a better state of mind - one where I am in control. This would be positive, significant growth for me, and help me set a far better example for my children.

To that end, a while ago I saw a post on LinkedIn, as shown in the picture below. This person uses a checklist to track progress, and keep themselves accountable. It resonated with me. One, because I love checklists (I never did get that book back from Brian), and two, because I need to be more accountable to myself. You could also add in three, because I love statistics!

I love the fact that this is values-based just as much as it is physical accomplishments. The categories this person uses are Morning, Work, Cons. Pauses (I presume this means Considered Pauses - actually it means conscious, but sama sama), Values and Evening. Some of these work for me pretty well. Some don't. Let's go through the list, and I'll start to look at building my own list of things I'd like to keep track of, and to encourage/manage myself to do as part of my routine/life.

Morning

Meditation - Not something I am inclined to ever do. My "meditation" is routine, familiarity, and comfort. I get this by being at home, amongst my family, in a neat and controlled environment, and in a calm and "zen" state of mind. Wifey encourages me to consider meditation, but I know myself. I'll just end up doing a lot more napping than "finding myself". 👎

Journal - For me, this is my journal - my blog. This is where I want to record my musings, tell my story, and leave a little bit of me behind for my kids to read at some point in the future. I do want to do this more regularly, so yes, this one is an inclusion for sure, except I'll have to think of another word for it than journal. Plus, I don't think it will be a goal to do this daily. A couple of times per week for sure though. 👍

Read - I now have an enviable set-up in my office, with a recliner in the corner. Just this past week, I got myself a trashy Clive Cussler novel (written by Jack de Brul no less), and have spent a couple of hours enjoying it in peace. This is valuable for mental health, for brain exercise, and for keeping things in balance. So yes, I want to include this on my list, but it won't be a morning thing for me. What time of day I am not sure - hey I am not even sure I want to split this list by time of day, we'll see. But it's in for sure. 👍

Learn - Not sure about this one. Bhavna says this is about spending time to learn something. I don't know that this is really all that important. Not in terms of what I consider learning anyway. Perhaps it could be along the lines of watching YouTube videos that actually stimulate thought, rather than just Premier League highlights or Lego unboxing. It could also be reading non-fiction / self-help perhaps. Far out, fuck the self-help, but you know what I mean. 👍

F45/Ex - This is exercise. I am all for exercise, but the morning is going to be about working for me, as that's when I am at my best. When I need the kick that physical activity provides, is in the afternoon and evening, so I will include this there (already in the list, so I don't need to repeat it). 👎

Yoga - Like meditation, this is more for yuppies than it is for me, so a definite no-no. Nothing against those who like to use yoga for their well-being, I just don't like it. 👎

Work

Deep Work - This is measured in terms of number of hours of distraction-free work. Fark, this is going to be a hard one, but frankly, a critically important one, based on my tendencies to have my mind wander. Definitely have to include. 👍

Top 3 - This is also a critical one. I can fill my days with all sorts of work-related activities. However, it is annoying how often those days don't see any progress on my big-ticket items. Keeping these moving is critical. 👍

Thought Leadership - I am struggling to understand what this one means. Bhavna describes it as creating value for her business. I am more inclined to call this Continuous Improvement (haha, I am just SO damn against modern buzzwords. I fucking hate wokeism, so anything that reminds me of it is simply out). 👍

Conscious Pauses

Cold Shower - Haha, this one has absolutely NO chance of making my list. Why people love cold showers is beyond me. Yes I can see that it gets the blood flowing, is likely good to give your metabolism a kick-start, and will wake you up like nothing else. However, I simply do not see the value in suffering, and I consider such an activity to be a form of suffering. So no way José. 👎  

IF - This one means intermittent fasting. Fark, not something I have ever been inclined to do. I think better to include mindful eating, or my version of that, instead. One step at a time Mofo. 👎

Vitamins - this is another one I am in favour of, although to this day I am still uncertain if these things really provide that much benefit. I have another post on this in draft - in draft partially due to procrastination and difficulty to finish things (see this post) and partially due to my uncertainty on what it all means. But I think including vitamins is something I want to do. 👍

Mind. Eating - Yes, this is important for me. Keeping the sweet stuff to a minimum, managing portion control, and not eating too much shit food. All this is important. 👍

Mind. Walk - Not sure why walking needs to be mindful, this has a whiff of wokeism about it, and as such, I am offended! Haha. But still, I do want to encourage myself and measure myself on doing a bit more physical activity. I recently put my steps target down to 5,000, because 6,000 seemed out of reach. Since then I have hit 5k far more often, without mindfully trying to. Go figure. I would like, however, to actually push myself to get outside more often, walk to the shops for example, and get some activity in. This is only partially for my body, it is actually more important for my mind. 👍

Shoni - This is the author's child, and I hugely support including this in a list of positive habits. I am ever-mindful of giving my children enough of my time, and not just going through the motions with them. I make a point of hanging out in the upstairs lounge with them at night, more than in my own office or the downstairs lounge. I need to make the most of my family, and also recognise the criticality of my own influence in their development. Hugely important. 👍

Values

Abundance - I wrote my thoughts on gratitude below, and at face value, these two are one and the same to me. Looking up what Bhavna meant, this one is more about celebrating wins, both one's own and for others. I am inclined to change this, and call it Leadership instead. Reason being, is this value is important for me, both at work and at home. Yes, showing courage, showing kindness, showing gratitude, these are all important. But overall, and at the root of it all, is showing leadership. That is going to be my value here, I think. 👍

Courage - Bhavna calls this pushing oneself to do something uncomfortable or scary. I guess it's something like confronting a difficult situation or problem. I don't know, those kinds of things don't crop up every day. Let's refer to Premium Value, and see what values are in there, beyond what I already have here.... Interesting. What stuck out to me immediately was one word - trust. Also "reliable" and "safe". If I can provide all those things, I do my job, essentially. "Integrity" is a word I like, which also covers a fair bit of this. As a value, that is pretty cool. I think I'll use it. 👍

Kindness - This one is huge. Especially for my family. I need to have a loving heart. I need to control my own emotions, which is what I tell the boys they need to do all the time. I need to stop finding things so annoying, especially when they are done out of want for attention, or out of love in itself. This is really, the #1 most important habit of them all. All good things stem from kindness. 👍👍👍

Evening

Plan Ahead - I think this is something I do generally, but not specifically. I can see value in doing a calendar review each evening for the following day or two, making sure I am prepared, not double-booked (fuck me I do that a fair bit), and in control. Being in control is an important thing for me, and helps my state of mind for sure. I think I should put something in here for after dinner daily, on my calendar. Spend 30 mins at my desk to review the day and then plan the day ahead. 👍

SM Free - This is a piece of piss for me, so perhaps it should be Gumball-free instead? 🎮 Or perhaps device-free? I do find that I tend to - as wifey does - go to bed, and then muck around on my phone for 10-12 minutes. This can lead to a sore arm (which is becoming a problem to be honest), and perhaps not the best way to relax oneself for sleep. Sleep is a critically important part of life, and one I am focussing one a lot more these days. So perhaps the habit should be, when it is bed-time, to put my phone in my top drawer, and leave it there until morning. Or, to have an alarm clock (B wants one too), with soft light, so I don't actually need to take my phone to bed. I like the sound of this. 👍

Gratitude - This one is not all that easy to conceptualise. Granted, I know I have an awful lot to be grateful for, and comparing our lot to most of the rest of the world, and thus not always wanting more, is a mantra I have communicated to my children on many an occasion. But in any given moment, and particularly in my given moments, I do find that a considerable part of my underlying stress is due to "wanting more". Yes, this is driven from a desire to actually do less - well, have more time to myself, and get out of the rat race more so - but it is still a stress based on wants. I guess it is ok to have this goal, but what the value means is not losing sight of how well off one actually is, and being grateful for things like having a nice house (I am), having a good-paying job, having the freedom to pretty much do as I please, having my family all together, and so on. I think this is very important too. 👍

So that was the list, and my assessments thereof. The actual post, if anyone wants to have a look themselves, and perhaps follow this inspirational person, is here 21 Habits. Looking at this review, I gave 16 of Bhavna's habits a tick, and five a cross. The ticks may be exact (or near exact) copies of what she is on about, but in many cases are my own variation. The crosses are things that I either group with others, or am just not into, such as cold showers! 

I also want to include my own habits on this list. Things like including all of my family (three kids plus wife), sleep, managing personal stuff, keeping off the booze, that kind of thing. I have also recently purchase a daily goal setter from a company called Mal Paper. I am keen to see where that might go. 

Ok, this is enough for now. Time to post this, and keep on moving. I like where I'm at - mostly - and am happy to be moving in a positive direction. Keep it up old boy!