10 Things About Your Dada

I saw an interesting post somewhere on line the other day, along the lines of 10 things your dad never told you. It resonated with me, as I know there are things that you guys as children don't understand, about me and Mama being your parents. You won't understand some of what we do until you're adults, you won't understand some of what we do until you become parents yourself. And frankly, you may never understand some of what we do, because we're all individuals, and we are all certainly not perfect.

So I figured it made sense for me to try and explain in my own words somewhat, who I am, and what makes me tick. As well as that, what makes me your dad.

I probably could have chosen a better photo, that was my one and only attempt at Movember, back in 2020. This was early in the piece. There is another photo somewhere of me in Week #4, which is decidedly more frightening! I'll leave to you to scour the archives for it.

So, here we go with my list;

1. Childhood friends, schools, etc - my first school was Mimosa Primary in Frenchs Forest, in the northern suburbs of Sydney. I have only the fleetest of visages in my mind of this place, and our home at that time. My first proper memory is of walking the streets in Hong Kong, in 1979, so at the age of 6-7. Then, I was going to Kowloon Junior School, a 15min walk from where we lived in HK. I think I joined it in Form 2, but am not really sure. In KJS my main friends were Ben P and Martin. I ran into Ben P years later, in Leonora of all places, which I will post about elsewhere. I also saw Martin in Singapore, after we had left HK. We briefly reconnected on Facebook at one point, but never really communicated. That is a fact of life unfortunately - we do have a tendency to move on, especially when our surrounds change. Of course that was as it was back in my childhood, without mobiles or internet. Now, even if we left Australia again, you could always stay in touch with your friends online. After HK, we moved to Singapore. I had a variety of friends over the time, changing as my interests changed, and I experimented with different things. The only friend I really have from Singapore now is Melissa - we met her when we moved to Texas, and I have seen her a couple of times over the years. I did get in touch with a few on FB again, but never actually met anyone. I would love to meet the likes of Martin Hagger again, who was instrumental in me improving my life after my 15yo issues, getting fit, and getting into running and sports. At Cobram High, I had a few decent friends too, but none I have remained in contact with. I could, especially as we live here now, but I guess one of the key things about me, and my take on life now, is that I just don't have much time to spare. I could probably improve that, and make time for things like friends, I just haven't got the notion to at this time. 
2. My interests. Gosh, haven't these changed greatly over the years. As you all know, I love Star Wars and Lego, always having had some kind of presence of these toys in my life, throughout yours. Moreso in the display pieces category than the playset one these days though. I have also always loved books, although with such a myriad of competing interests for my time now, I find it hard to read all that often. When I do, my favourite authors are Steven Brust, Bill Bryson, Clive Cussler, Stephen King, Simon Winchester, and a few others. My cousin Phil is an author as well as a journalist, and I have always had a few of this titles in my library too, including one that I feature in! I love sports, but my interest in most of them wax and wane, with the exception of cricket, that I will always adore. I also love supporting Liverpool. I miss not watching rugby anymore too. Maybe we'll try to watch a few Wallabies tests in the future. Apart from those things, I love to travel, I love to eat Asian food, I love computer games, I love writing, and wish I had the ability and discipline to do it for a living. OMG that would be grand! I have always had an interest in the unknown - be it UFO's, ancient mysteries, the paranormal, all that kind of stuff. These days I am more inclined to think most mysteries and enigmas come from the belief that humanity is much, much older than the history books tell us. 
3. How I chose Carlton. This is a pretty simple one really. Back in the HK/SG days, we used to visit Oz every year for our family holiday. Part of that trip was always coming down to Cobram (I say coming down, as we always seemed to base ourselves in Sydney) to see Carlo and Heidi. Heidi was one of Mum's sisters (thus my aunt). Her son, Mark, was three years older than me, and thus I looked up to him. He was sporty, charismatic, and quite the trend-setter. Plus he was an avid Carlton fan. Thus, I became one too, although I knew precisely nothing about footy. My footy heyday was around 1995, when Carlton last won the flag. I was living in Kalgoorlie at the time, had plenty of mad footy friends, no internet, so footy on TV was a pretty big pastime for me. 
4. My love life before Mama. Don't fall in love too easily. Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you're not good enough, because you're the most amazing people I know! I spent a lot of years not knowing what the fuck I wanted. The problem was, as with many men, I was governed by my penis. I loved good-looking ladies, but let's be frank, I was not at the top of the pecking order in terms of looks, except for a brief period of time from the ages of 19-21. Back then, I was too immature to really understand relationships. I fell in love a lot, never was able to read the signs, ran away when they got too close, all of it. Plus I was a fatty a lot of my life, which at a younger age, doesn't do much for your prowess in the romance stakes. Well, as was the case for me. As I mentioned, I had chances, but was too dumb and inexperienced to realise at the time. I did marry once before Mama, and I think I did so because I was kind of surprised anyone would want me. There were plenty of warning signs for me to take heed of prior to getting married, but I ignored them. I do not regret this, because as I say, everything I have done in life has led me here, and here, with all of you, is precisely where I want to be. So no regrets. But as advice, before you make any major commitments, ask yourself some serious questions about whether or not it is good for you. 
5. My spiritual home. Well, this has to be Hong Kong. I guess I define myself largely by my upbringing, and living in HK and Singapore has definitely impacted who I am, and what makes me tick. KL was the last leg that made up that trifecta, and, as with the other two, has become a city that is so dear to me. But through all that, it is really HK that sticks. With me, and with many before me in my family. Probably because it embodies who I feel that I really am - a western man who is a wannabe Asian man. That is, I hold true to my western identity, but feel so much more at home in an Asian climate. A place that allows me to embrace both facets of my persona is, by definition, where I will feel most at home. The only place that ticks all the boxes, remains Hong Kong. Will I ever live there again? Highly unlikely, I can't see me getting work there, nor being wealthy enough to retire there. But visit? And visit fairly frequently? Yes please. This is one of the things that made Besra attractive to me, as any home in SEA gives me much easier access to HK, and all the other places that are special to me, and that I want to be part of my life.
6. My personal challenges. Yeah. This is a tough one. I am such a weak man, in so many ways. Yes, I do love you all with all my heart, I do take pride in the work I do, and I do work towards providing us the best life I can. But for every two steps I take forward, I take one well-and-truly back. Actually, it kind of feels like for every 10 steps forward, I take 8 backwards. I don't think I will ever admit all my shortcomings and weaknesses to anyone, such is my shame for not being able to have better self-control. But largely, it boils down to vices - gambling, drinking, anger, sex, yeah that pretty much covers it. Thankfully I never delved into real drugs, as with my personality, that could have led to disaster, as it does for so many. I am better than I used to be for sure, but I am still a man with many flaws, some of which do cause me shame, from time to time. 
7. What I want to do in retirement? This is a good question. So many people claim they get bored in retirement and I have read many examples of people who retire, then soon die, presumably because they have lost their reason to be. Me, no chance of that. I am dying to have more time to write this blog for instance. To write in general. To read. To build Lego. To walk. To travel. To cook. To eat. To play computer games and watch TV shows. To build my garden. To swim. To relax. To spend time with quality people. To research things like ancient civilisations, UFO's, the paranormal, all that stuff. I could fill a lifetime with all I want to do that is not work related, let alone a retirement!
8. Why I love your Mama so much? Your Mama and I have not always seen eye to eye on everything, it's true. We are both strongly independent characters, and don't like to be reined in. We are also both constantly needing to strike a good balance in parenthood, between providing well for you all, being there for you, and of course, looking after ourselves too. But largely, we get each other, we make allowances for each other, we enjoy being with each other, and we both recognise that we are very imperfect beings. Your Mama does drive me nuts sometimes, but only sometimes, and no doubt less than I drive her nuts. But she loves me, gives me the companionship I want, challenges me where I need to be, and loves me despite all my faults. She and I are both flawed human beings, and as such, are perfect for each other. If she'll have me, I intend to be with your mother for the rest of my life. 
9. Why volcanoes? Interesting question. Well, when I was a kid, about 10, that's when Mt. St. Helens erupted in America. I remember seeing the coverage on TV and being awestruck by it. I also had an opportunity, when at UWC in Singapore, to go on a field trip with our geography class, to visit Anak Krakatau and the Bandung volcanoes, in Indonesia. Anak particularly, was a life-changing event, as it is so raw, and such a simmering cauldron waiting to erupt at any given moment. We had the chance to walk across the crater, which could never happen today. That experience stuck with me, forever, and together with my childhood memories, created the great interest for volcanoes, that I have had ever since.
10. Why I love you being multicultural. This is an important one. 

I love you being multicultural, because that's what I think the future of mankind is going to be. Yes, it is wonderful that all the different countries, races, religions and beliefs have led us to a world as deliciously variable as it is. It's one of the key things that makes travel absolutely amazing and so worthwhile. It is also important, to recognise the fact that you are multicultural, whether you like it or not, and should embrace your Malaysian Chinese heritage as much as you do your Australian one. Of course that can be easier said than done, especially when we don't live in Malaysia any more. I know that things that are foreign or strange are not comfortable, and that may make you veer away from these kinds of experiences. But I strongly encourage you to try and learn a bit more about where you were born, and what makes a Malaysian Chinese person tick. Honestly kids, if you embrace this part of you, so much more of the world will open up to you, and your experiences will be that much broader and more colourful. 

I could write this post forever, but I need to get it out. I think this gives you a good taste of who I am, at least the parts that you may not see all that often. If you read this while I'm still around kids, I encourage you to come talk to me about any or all of it. I hope we get more chances to explore the world together, and I get more chances to impart the bits of it that are important to me, to you.